Rainy Days

I can’t speak for everyone, but I know that there have been times when I’ve felt as if everyone around me hated me. Without even knowing their name, I’d assume the worst. “They dislike me,” or, “They think I’m weird.” I wouldn’t even open my mouth to say hello—I was sure I’d be met with a cold rebuff.

My name for this is “Hate-Paranoia”.

Sometimes it comes and goes, and other times it seems like you’re walking around 24/7 feeling as if you’re some kind of social reject. Are you? Well, not to my knowledge, and the fact is, you probably aren’t! Feeling this way—defeated, hated, worthless—it isn’t healthy.

As a Jr. High and High School student, I didn’t realize this. I went about my days feeling like gum on the bottom of someone’s shoe.

But then I was told something that really helped. Now, whenever I have those feelings, I repeat what that person told me:

“You can’t read minds!”

Nobody can, so it’s impossible to assume what another person thinks of you unless they tell you. I used to think that if someone bumped my shoulder that they had done it on purpose! A total stranger, bumping shoulders with me, would start me down my well-trodden path of Hate-Paranoia.

It was wearying… It’s hard to make friends when you think everyone hates you already. So now I’m trying my best, little by little, to not let the Hate-Paranoia take over. If you have this problem, you should try to overcome it as well.

–Bee

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